Just a few minutes a day.

Okay, I admit it. I am really, really busy doing very little of importance. Since I appear to be aware of this I am always looking for ways to do important things quickly. Apparently I am not alone since I am bombarded with a myriad of claims that if I just spent a few minutes day on X, Y or Z thing that I be happier, more fulfilled and a better member of society.

Here are some examples that I have heard in the last couple of days…

• If I follow Oprah’s advice I will declutter my life physically and emotionally in just 10 minutes a days.
• Mark Bittman tells me in the introduction to “How to Cook Everything” that he created the book to help people make things from scratch for just a few minutes more than it would take to make something from a box. The book is 2 1/2 inches thick.
• Next to my bed is a copy of “8 Minute Meditation”. Enough said.
• In my shower is a bottle of Philosphy facial cleanser that suggests that I start and end each day by massaging it into my skin for a minute since “cleanliness is a new beginning”.
• If I spend just two extra minutes each time I go to the grocery store and bring my own bags, I will save zillions of trees.

I have been thinking about how all of these claims are increasingly making me feel inadequate.

The subtext is…if you really cared you would spend the few minutes each day on X, Y or Z thing. If you don’t spend the few minutes you are a huge loser and you don’t care about your home, children, partner, self, community, money or environment.

The real situation is that sometimes I feel like I don’t even have time to pee. When I use my lovely Philosophy soap I can manage about 7 seconds before a small child interrupts me. If I manage to clean out my children’s backpacks and hang up wet mittens before it all starts to stink, I am ahead of the game. Last night I made it through three pages of “8 Minute Meditation” before I fell asleep with the light on.

Do not feel sorry for me. It turns out that I do make time for what is really important.

Friday afternoon you will find me with a glass of wine in my hand chatting with friends and thinking about where to go out for dinner. The way I figure it, if we go out, I will save 17 minutes of grocery shopping, 32 minutes of dinner prep and 26 minutes of clean-up. I plan to savor my wine and not think about how I could have changed my life in those same precious minutes.